I had been planning a "5K Fuel-Up" for a few weeks. You see, I signed up to host a Virtual 5K "Race Against Human Trafficking" with Dressember in late April. I thought it would be cool to invite a speaker on human trafficking and also do a carbo loading event the evening before the official date for the virtual 5K. The carbs, of course, was just to be silly, but the speaker was serious.
I had awesome decorations purchased, creative party favors prepped, a TON of spaghetti ready to be boiled...then something unexpected happened.
One of my family members had a mental health crisis. I felt like I was needed to help during that time, so I canceled my event. I didn't really think twice about putting my family first. It was the obvious choice. It still sort of sucked, but my family member - let's call them TG - was on the edge of a cliff. Given the information I had at the time, it seemed that TG's situation required urgent help. I felt like the other family members needed my physical presence.
TG has stabilized, and a treatment plan is in place. My relief at this is inpalpable. Yet, strangely, I feel this sort of embarassment about canceling the event. I feel like a flake, and I'm worried that people won't sign up for my future events because I'm flaky.
Truthfully, I've been a flake in the past. It's not something I'm proud of, and quite honestly, I don't do enough to work on improving in that area.
I'm bummed. It's a lot of money down the drain at a time when our tax bill has put the squeeze on our budget. I just needed to seek out peace.
I did a Google search for "bible verses for letting go." A few suggestions popped up, but I happened to be drawn to Philippian 4: 6-7. The version I read worded the passage this way:
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
What drew me in was the reference to a peace that "transcends all understanding." I like that particular wording because in my own journey as a Christian and in my own walk, I've built a lot of my faith on a strong belief in accepting the things that exceed my understanding as a human.
I'm working this afternoon to put my faith in this verse, to pray for some of that peace. It's a silly thing, perhaps, to worry over 5K Fuel-Up. But the worry is there, and I have to cope with it.
I hope that in sharing this verse that someone else in search of "letting it go" will find a peace that transcends all understanding.
